[opening theme music]
Would somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Oooh yeah♪
♪ Who do you call When you want some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Right on!♪
♪ They're stepping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ That's right! A heck of a fighter♪
♪ Makes a heck of a lunch.♪
♪ And little Polly Esther♪
♪ Who's never afraid That's me!♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade.♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis A wild romantic rover.♪
♪ This cat gets down down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad.♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle ever had!♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Step on their tails♪
♪ Get off my tail♪
♪ And you're gonna get hurt Don't hurt me♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town♪
♪ Four, three, two, one♪
♪ The Pizza Cats Are on the run♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain Who's lower than low.♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo.♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crows.♪
♪ As soon as someone finds The script♪
♪ We might begin the show.♪
♪ Sit back and rest your feet And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want The full effects♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] A sunny Saturday tons of Little Tokyo
ending an unusually trouble free 90 days warranty weekend.
Oh! Hey!
My Pollyanna's tulip commonly known as tulip has bloomed.
[narrator] This was a botanical miracle
since Lucille had planted an Azalea.
Oh! This fragrant tulip would look great sitting
in the Pizza Cats' kitchen window.
[narrator] And it would do a swell job
counteracting the smell of the onions and garlic too.
-Where are they? -I don't know.
I'm getting tired to standing here.
[both yawn]
[narrator] Poor Sonny and mom
had continued their pizza kept vigil
for six days and nights without even a glimpse
of their beloved heroes.
Maybe they should think about catching
that Bruce-Lee triple feature
at the Little Tokyo Cineplex instead.
I'll tell you why you haven't seen them.
Speedy and Guido just got done with the marathon Mahjong game
and now they're sleeping it off in their basement hideout.
I bet three bams big cheater.
I got this game you might as well give up--
Rise and shine up and at 'em!
[Guido] From now on you wash all the dishes kido.
Don't worry I've got just a thing.
Here's the bell starting round one!
[metal gonging]
Hey mom there's a loud gonging.
Must be their alarm clock.
Are they still sleeping?
[Guido and Speedy grunting and groaning]
[Polly laughing]
Our mahjong players are awake Francine,
they just don't know it.
[narrator] While Francine went to fetch the boys vitamins
trouble was beginning to rear its ugly head
at the enclave of Big Cheese and company.
[Jerry Atric grunts] That was a great birthday party
we had for Big Cheese last night.
-today it's back to work. -[Bad Bird grunts]
[Jerry Atric grunts] Come on, rise and shine banana beak
it's seven o'clock and it's the early bird
that catches the worm.
Okay, okay.
Why do you old folk
always get up always up at the crack of dawn?
Big Cheese is up too.
Oh, Yeah? So let him catch the worm.
I'm taking a day off, just try and stop me.
Easily done.
-[Big Bird grunting] -[Big Cheese] Stop that!
[all gasp]
Now now, we'll have no fighting on this lovely morning.
By the way, how do you fellas like my new outfit?
-[all groaning] -[Big Cheese grunts]
I'll go change.
Now, why did you get me up so early?
Are you crazy?
You ordered me to yesterday Big Cheese.
[Big Cheese grunts] So what's on the agenda?
We must guarantee Samurai Pizza Cats
to chop suey once and for all.
Now Seymour, pay attention will you?
-I prepared some visual aids. -Yes, I'm listening.
Is it up.
I've spent six days reviewing tapes of our robots battles
against those furballs.
We'll observe which of our robots qualities
were most effective against them.
We can combine those qualities into one weapon--
I hope these tapes
don't show my robot creations to be failures,
some of my creations were real peps
before the Pizza Cats ground them all to mayo.
Oh, don't you worry!
All right! I trust you. Let's start the show.
Now, this is highly realistic high-definition TV.
Start the show.
-[Bad Bird snoring] -Wake up idiot!
-[Bad Bird grunting] -Useless feather-brain.
I'll do it myself. Here it goes.
[theme music]
That's the Pizza Cats theme,
are you trying to make me nauseous Jerry?
I'll fast forward.
[Jerry Atric] These are bad birds ace ninja crows,
they try harder but the Pizza Cats
still beat the feathers out of them every episode.
[crows] We are backwards ninja crows
we will pop you in the nose
we can beat those Pizza Cats
we'll throw a feather eat our hats.
That's a lovely little diddy.
Boys have eaten a lot of hats lately.
[crows] Yeah.
[Big Cheese] I'll say ya have, now look here.
Watch our big Mamma One-Ton makes kitty steel out of them.
The cats flying fort crushed your sagging bag
of nuts and bolts easily.
What a turkey.
This is a tape Cheese it's already happened.
Oh no it hasn't.
[Jerry Atric] Cheese, I admit this high-definition TV
makes it look like it's actually happening
in your own living room
but I take this back two months ago and we lost.
[Big Cheese] Don't tell me that.
-[Polly and Guido gasp] -[Speedy] I'm cold.
[Guido] Let's harness them up and attack.
-[Speedy] Goes power! -[Guido and Polly] Yeah!
Zeroing for targets, hope you enjoy your swim.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They make great pizza But that ain't all.♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're ready to fight When you need them just call♪
♪ They know how to stop crime, Just do what they say♪
♪ If you don't wanna bad times Stay of their way♪
♪ Oh, I love those cats♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ The heroes Who always wear fur♪
[Pizza Cats] Power boost completed!
[Bad Bird] What were you doing all this time Big Cheese?
[Big Cheese] As your fearless leader
I remain confident in Mamma One-Ton
and totally unruffled.
Look there that rough flying tiger is transforming.
Do something, you idiot do something!
[Bad Bird] You called that unruffled?
[cat meows]
[Jerry Atric] This particular mechanical monstrosity
was the ingenious invention of the cat's friend
and frequent emporium freeloader Guru Lou.
A formidable opponent I must admit.
[Big Cheese] How dare you compliment the enemy?
Besides I'm sure that half-wit Guru Lou
stole the idea from us.
[Big Mama grunts]
[Jerry Atric] Now we might look into modifying those cannons.
[Big Cheese] That stupid spear sure looks fishy to me.
[Pizza Cats] On guard, Mamma One-Ton.
[Mamma and Pizza Cats grunting]
Swing that sword, Mama One Ton.
-What's-- -[Jerry Atric] Hang on!
-This happened two months ago -[Big Cheese screaming]
-Big Cheese is only a tape -[Big Cheese screaming]
it's not really happening, don't get excited.
[Bad Bird] With more time to train our ninja crows
this wouldn't have happened
I need an antacid tablet.
[Big Cheese] No sweetheart no!
Go for the big launch kneecaps.
No!
[Mamma One-Ton screams]
[Big Cheese] You betrayed me you fat pluts.
[Jerry Atric] Please Big Cheese no!
[loud explosion] [Big Cheese groaning]
-Thanks a lot Mr. Cheese. -It was so realistic.
[Bad Bird grunting]
[narrator] The ninja crows cleaned up the cabbage
and the conference resumed.
Do you promise you have no more tantrums?
No, I do not. I'm very emotional.
I even cry when I see The Wizard of Oz.
Then mind if I take a seat by the door?
Yes, I do!
-[Bad Bird burps] -Wow, wanna bring that up again?
Big Cheese now is not exactly the time for levity.
[sighs] I was just poking a little friendly fun at him.
Well, it wasn't funny.
-Are you awake now? -[Bad Bird burps] Oh yes, sure.
I spent the last few days attempting to recruit
ninja crows from the local college.
Get that camera out of here! [loud explosion]
How on earth the Princess Vi get on that tape?
Any answer will do.
[grunts] Don't ask fellas, I only work here.
[narrator] Meanwhile, Lucille was paying a visit
to Coneheads designer Reno-shop
to stock up on firepower for when she blew her stack.
Hi Lucille.
Say, what you got there?
-An Azalea? -[Lucille laughs]
No it's a tulip.
Do you have some missiles to match the color?
Sure, got just the thing.
A traveling munition salesman just came in
with these the other day.
First he said he was from some strange place
I couldn't pronounce.
I asked him: How come you got a Brooklyn accent?
Then he fessed up and told me those babies
were made right here in a little factory in New Jersey.
-I'll take them. -[Mr. Conehead] Great!
I knew you'd fall in love with them. Very you.
How many boxes do you want?
Give me 2 dozens and put it on my credit card.
You got it! Take these and I'll deliver the rest.
Thanks, Mr. Conehead.
[narrator] The bad guys conference continues.
Bad Bird claims the Princess Vi footage is important.
Then show it to me.
I promise I won't have another tantrum.
Thanks. Now watch closely.
Princess,
what is a red cape sprinkle with garlic and can fly?
-I don't know. -Super pizza.
That's a terrible joke.
I was only trying to lighten things up.
Send him to Mississippi, lock him in a dungeon!
We don't have a dungeon? Well lock him in the basement.
That joke stinks!
- I'm surrounded by total -[mare sighs]
incompetents and mental midgets.
All of the sudden my top minister
acts like a bad board broke comedian.
- What was that? -[mare gasps]
I didn't say anything.
I supposed you think that joke was funny, huh?
No! Not at all.
Send her to the beach for a suntan!
[mare] No Princess Vi,
I am allergic to the sun I'll get crinkles.
Use sunscreen.[panting]
Would you like to hear a good elephant joke princess?
No, I would not Al Dente.
Oh come on, a smile scares the blues away.
That's it. Throw Al Dente in the ocean!
[Al Dente] I forgot my rubber ducky.
[Princess Vi panting]
The girl has quite a temper. In fact she's a maniac.
We should convince her to work for us.
Yes, glad you pointed that out to us Bad Bird.
Thank you, let's continue with this.
[Jerry Atric grunts] This highly cinematic footage
of our robots in action against the Pizza Cats.
[Big Cheese] That's wonderful, but did you have to include
this long boring sequence
that we have to endure in every episode?
[Jerry Atric] Don't you want to see
how it looks on the high-definition TV?
[Big Cheese] I'm going to the kitchen
for some chamomile tea.
Call me when the good part starts.
[Bad Bird] As long as you up could you get me a seltzer.
[Big Cheese] No, get it yourself.
[Speedy] A triple whammy!
[Jerry Atric grunts] Wow! Now, that's TV.
Does high-definition TV
always have such destructive special effects?
Let's continue this fiasco.
Here are some of our less successful endeavors.
[Big Cheese] Oh, I remember this one.
Some salesman with a Brooklyn accent
came by and sold us that rocket.
He claimed it was built in New Jersey.
[Jerry Atric] This robot had all the grace
of a 12 ton swan, I'll give you that.
But the problem here was those fruity fans
you decided to attach to his arms
As you can see they didn't quite do the job.
[Polly and Guido scream]
[Big Cheese] Well, at least the rocket worded.
Did we save the phone number of that salesman?
[Bad Bird] You had us build this nightmare
the day after that championship hockey go.
We had a silver for coffee and danish in his mobile home.
You made it great at blocking Big Cheese
but the construction design was definitely cheesy.
We're zeroing on targets.
[Bad Bird grunts] At least we thought we were.
[Jerry Atric] You designed this yo-yo last spring.
[loud explosion]
[robot screaming]
[Jerry Atric] You had us build this guy
after you took that heat in our sauna
He couldn't take the heat either.
[robot grunts] [loud explosion]
[crow screaming]
[indistinct]
[Bad Bird] You gotta get rid of that Tarzan
fixation Big Cheese.
- Here I come, ready or not. -[Pizza Cats scream]
[Jerry Atric] Your Sherman tank constant ran into a brick wall.
[Bad Bird] And this big dummy never got off the ground.
[robot 2 grunting]
[loud explosion]
[samurai screaming]
[Big Cheese] My samurai starboard,
you have to admit that he did some damage.
[Jerry Atric] Yes, but he also had his pitfalls.
[Bad Bird] You can say that again
but enough of these mechanized morons.
[laughing] Here is the result
of my little college recruitment adventure.
Who are they?
[Bad Bird] Our new secret weapons
the four freshmen apocrowlypserude noise.
Oh, really?
[crows grunting]
Bad Bird tell us you guys need some muscle.
Ruffians.
They look raw but at least they have a college education.
Well then, if it's muscle power you need we got it bae.
Here's a little demonstration of what we learned in school.
Meet my fellow crow and roommate at Little Tokyo U.
He's fast as white lightning
and blinds opponents with red light.
- His name is-- -Mojo Rojo.
[Bad Max] My next buddy majored in physics
and his aiming for a career
in intercontinental ballistic missiles.
- His name is-- -Cannonball Battery.
[Bad Max] My third pal majored in dentistry
but also led these great team
to first place three years in a row.
- His name is-- -Ronnie Geissmuller.
[Ronnie] Our fearless leader led the cheerleading squad
in Tomahawk excel
behind the wheel of any gas-powered vehicle.
Call me Bad Max.
[all] We wanna a three year contract,
how much do you pay?
-[Bad Max gasps] -All right.
I can give them the room aboard and 3,50 an hour.
-That's not enough. -Don't be cheap Big Cheese
offer them more, these guys are hot.
-[Big Cheese grunts] -What's with you?
[Bad Bird] That fruitcake still believes his robots
can beat the Pizza Cats, what a jerk.
-Are you gonna meet our price? -No way.
[Ninja Crows gasp] No!
-Get lost! -[Ninja Crows groan]
Cheap.
[narrator] The four birds immediately
enrolled in graduate school.
Meanwhile...
Come little tulip let's visit Pizza Cats.
Jerry! I guess now I can come up with a robot that will work.
Big Cheese as you can see
from the tape those robots were all duds.
No they weren't!
It was just bad luck.
[Jerry Atric] You got an idea?
Yes, we'll simply combine all the robots
into one gargantuan conglomerate. [grunts]
You could have something there.
They may have failed individually but together...
wasn't that my idea?
You sore of the co-star.
-You're just too kind Cheesie. -[Big Cheese sighs]
I like the idea.
We'll get to work on it right away.
[Bad Bird] Even my own ninja crows don't support me.
Cheese will have 'em build some big clanker
that will fall flat in its face.
Through the magic of animation...
It's finished already.
[Jerry Atric] It's magnificent your Cheesiness.
Its sheer size will overwhelm Little Tokyo.
Though we could have left off
that idiotic fan on its left arm.
Don't say that Jerry.
It gives him color. Don't all you crows agree?
[crows] Yeah!
[Bad Bird] What a maroon.
[crowd screaming]
Pizza Cats. Oh Pizza Cats, where are you?
Why don't you let me drive for a change?
[Bad Bird] Doesn't matter who drive you old bat.
This venture is doomed to failure.
The only true power is Ninja Crow power.
[narrator] Cheese's new monster
plot through the now deserted streets.
Deserted except for the innocent Lucille
who is so intent on presenting a tulip to the Pizza Cats
she failed to even notice the approaching behemoth
until it was upon her.
[Lucille screams]
[Lucille grunts and moans]
What happened?
Oh no, it's a crazy geisha girl.
Oh you made me drop it.
My tulip is gone forever. [crying]
Big power everyone. We're under attack.
[loud explosion]
[narrator] Oh! What a big explosion.
Say isn't that pretty?
I think I'll get the number of that salesman
from New Jersey.
[Jerry and Big Cheese sigh]
Beaten by a missile-launching geisha girl.
Come back here you bug-eyed buzzard.
Stop resisting, why are you running away?
[Jerry Atric indistinct]
[Big Cheese] Oh yeah? What a radio signal?
[loud explosion]
Oh! I feel better.
Those missiles from New Jersey are really something.
Lots of fire power. [laughing]
[narrator] Lucille[indistinct] merely on home.
probably to plant another Azalea.
She was innocent of the knowledge
that she of all people had destined
yet another fiendish Big Cheese blood to conquer
the Samurai Pizza Cat sand destroy Little Tokyo.
Next day, life was once again serene in Little Tokyo
and the Pizza Emporium was packed.
Be patient folks, some our staff
have overslept again today. [metal thud]
[Speedy and Guido grunt]
[Polly grunts] These two idiots stay up again last night.
[narrator] Haven't you fellas better give up mahjong?
Meanwhile an angry and frustrated Bad Bird
finally extricated himself from the previous days carnage.
[Bad Bird] Being buried under two tons of worthless junk
has only made me stronger.
I'll convince Cheese the only way to conquer
is with Ninja Crow power.[grunts]
I'll go back to Little Tokyo U
and recruit the four freshmen of the apocrowlypse
even if I have to pay them out of my own pocket.
[narrator] Ladies and gentleman the Samurai Pizza Cat
fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are Samurai
and I'd like to note.
Their antics take your breath away.
Like furballs in your throat.
We kittens are special breed, we never call retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down.
We land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh Pizza Cat
please ring your little bell.
Although you maybe pen and ink
you know you'll fight like--
Pizza Cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show ♪
♪ It's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
♪ Oh gosh.♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh yes♪
♪ All over town.♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight.♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Read all the credits♪
♪ So you'll know Who did the work♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪